Friday, December 5, 2014

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Evelyns..........

I was supposed to have a perfect day. I had it all planned. I had stepgranddaughter#1&only this morning so decided to take her with me to the National Crafts & Design Fair in Dublin's RDS where I wanted to vist the stall of the wonderful . Siobhan is a fabulously talented artist and was selling her hand-painted silk scarves at the Fair.

I meticulosly planned my route and my timing. However the RDS was jammers, there were UCD exams on there and Funderland had started as well, so traffic was slow and parking hard to find.  I readjusted my schedule and knew I'd have a max of forty minutes at the fair. A lovely lady gave me a spare free pass she had, and myself and Cara took the lift to the balcony and found Siobhan. I couldn't believe how many beautiful stalls there were and the quality of the work on display was second to none. Prices were very reasonable and I only wish I'd had more time and money to spend.

Anyway I bought myself a Christmas present of one of Siohan's scarfs and of course got her to drape it properly around my neck - never got the hang of dressing myself properly. Another lovely artist friend Anne Wingfield was there too and it was great to see them both. Cara had been brilliant in the car and buggy but was getting restless at that stage, so I parked the buggy and took her out and gave her my fingers to balance herself as she paraded up and down the balcony, drawing smiles from everyone. We stopped to chat to a few people and she roared her 'Scary Cara' at them all, much to their feigned fright and her amusement. Cara charms all round her and is the light in our lives. I reinstalled her in the buggy and we took our leave of Siobhan and Anne.

On the way into the fair I had spotted a lovely 'Make your own...' kit and stopped to treat myself again. This is their website and their stuff is really lovely, great gift for anyone who loves crafty things Cara and I chatted to the lovely ladies on the stall as they wrapped my purchase. One of them had an eleven month old daughter so we compared notes! Fair play to her for starting up her own business with a young family. Next year I am doing no Christmas shopping until i visit the fair. And I'm going to spend a whole day there.

Out to find the car again and I knew I was cutting it fine to get back to Swords for a school pick-up at 1.30pm. I rang my charges's mother to explain and to see if she could do the pick-up. As it happens she was going to his school play so was going to collect him and take him for a McDonalds as a reward so I wasn't needed until about 2.15. Great, I could relax - although Cara must be hungry as it was past her lunch time. Anyway...whatever move I made...I took a wrong turn and got totally, hopelessly lost. I kept trying to find signs for the airport or the M50 and went round and round in circles.

I ended up over at St James Hospital and pulled in on a street behind it to ring the Jemser. I hate ringing the Jemser if I'm lost, he invariably asks 'how did you end up there?' It is such a stupid effin' question. If I knew how I did it I wouldn't have done it!Although my track record for getting lost is second to none. I once went to Kerry via Gort (??!!) and on another occasion ended up in Claregalway on the way home from Knock to Dublin. Hopeless case.
'Howrya. Listen, took a wrong turn and am lost, need to get to Swords by two.'
'Where are ye?'
'I'm at the back of St James Hospital'
'How the hell did you end up there? Where at the back. St James is huge?'
Stepdaughter #2 overhears his end of conversation and almost had heart failure thinking her baby is in hospital.
'I can't see a street sign.'
'Move on and when you find a street sign ring again. Are you heading North or South?'
'Jesus Jim, how long are you living with me? How the hell do I know?'
'Where's the sun?'
I looked out
'Behind a shaggin' cloud. I'll move and ring again.'
'What about (names charge).'
'Salright, I've been in touch with his Mam.'

Pulled out again and found a street whose name I knew,  then started following a bus whose number I knew would lead me in right direction - I thought. Didn't think it was going North to South instead of vice versa. To make a very long story shorter I ended up in Terenure before I managed to find the M50. I fianlly got back to Swords two hours and forty minutes after I'd left the RDS. The journey, even with traffic, should take no more than 45 minutes.

I had been in contact with my charge's mother and she had taken him into the office with her. However I had to drive up to my house firsr, deliver Cara to her Mam, switch to my car because my family needed Jemser's car as it has the baby seat in it and Jemser had to bring Mam and Cara home. 'Cept my car wasn't there. The Jemser had gone off shopping in it. I dumped me baba with her mama and raced back down the town to collect me charge in his car.

Up to his house then and couldn't fine housekey. I swear I was ready to cry. So I stopped, took ten deep breaths and looked for key again - I found it. Rest of afternoon went smoothly and I was glad when the
day was over and I could get down to the hairdressers for a trim with my two all time favourite hairdressers Malcom and Ken - of Malken Browne on Main St., Swords. They are a brilliant double act and not only do you come out with a great haircut but you come out smiling because the guys are so, so funny. And they even gifted me a lovely pen for Christmas - to write a book about them some day. It'll be a bestseller.

Arrived home and was going to start giving out that no-one had emptied the diswasher since the morning but said , what the hell, I just won't do it either. So I didn't. And I won't. As soon as I've proofed this - and there'll still be loads of typos, I'm off to the leaba, with a cuppa and me book. Story Queening in the a.m. in the Gutter Book shop in Temple Bar. 'Tis all go.

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