Thursday, November 26, 2009

Theory Of Evolution

Theory of Evolution

I’ve worked it out. Women are the missing link, female homo sapiens that is or possibly female vegan homo sapiens to be specific, but we’ll get to that later. It’s perfectly obvious when you know what to look for. I’ll bullet point it for you

1. First there was prehistoric man, whom for the purposes of this ramble we will call ‘homo’ or ‘the beast’. The beast was more intelligent than other life forms on the planet and gradually over millennia came to dominate these life forces, for the most part through violence. After a while the beast got fed up with this life, it was either eat or be eaten, and he had gradually eliminated all other consumable life forms. So he evolved into the beast who could survive on inanimate objects if he so desired, so we got a crew that evolved into agrarian beasts. But some of the beasts decided they preferred a diet which consisted of only animate objects so they stayed as Beasts and most of them became reasonably docile because they were well fed and looked after. The agrarian lot went on to be called Homo Sapiens. Thinking Man. Do ye follow?


On we go.

2. Thinking Man, that what set me thinking - Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’. The statue looks so noble, gentle yet strong and completely unself-conscious, deep in thought. That’s when the whole evolutionary thing clicked with me. I have never, ever seen that deep look on a man’s face. Any man. The eyes just don’t have it lads. Women’s eyes do. That’s why I’d imagine a man’s internal monologue is entirely fundamental and to do with satisfying desire - food, drink, sex. Sport and politics and work take care of the rest of male needs; their need to be competitive, top dog, go to war. I am wildly generalizing of course but as I look around me a huge number of male Homo Sapiens fit this mould. Have another look at ’The Thinker’ It has blank sockets for eyes. That’s why it enthrals and disturbs me. Maybe auld Rodin had this evolutionary theory copped too. Males as physical form only. No eyes, no soul.


That’s enough for ye to be thinking on today.

I will extrapolate further later in the week. My brain hurts with all this thinking. I think I’ll get the remote control and hit the ‘six o’clock snooze Evelyn’ button or maybe drink a bottle of red - that’ll slow the bugger down.

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