First we have to apoligise to the whole of Wales and especially Pwllhellians or Pwllhellcats or whoever for spelling Pwllheli incorrectly up to this - we will never ever do it again. Ever.
Tuesday was another warm day but hazy instead of sunny. Evelyn agreed to come to the pool with us first thing but she only stayed ten minutes. She said later it was like the fifth circle of Hell and far too full of Hardy’s Madding Crowds. Whatever that means. Ok it is a bit too warm and a bit packed and there isn’t really a swimming swimming pool and it’s a bit old and there are a lot, an awful lot of really small kids and their parents in it but …well…it is a campsite and a holiday camp and all…so…anyway she had to stop at Starbucks for a grande skinnilatte with an extra shot to get over the ordeal. Whatever. We stayed in the pool for a couple of hours, we still think it’s great - then came home for lunch and then we went to the go-kart track which was great fun. Then we came back and annoyed Evelyn for a while until she jumped up from her lazing chair and said ‘Right. That’s it. You’re coming for a walk’. A WALK!! Someplace there’s no shops! Or anything to do!
It actually wasn’t too bad. We went through the forest and did ‘Lions and Tigers and Bears- oh my!’ No-one is ever too big for the Wizard. Evelyn was Dorothy (she had the check shirt) Oscar was Scarecrow (because of the socks) and Liam was Lion. It was hilarious and Evelyn kept trying to scare us and was really, really so not scary. Until we got a bit lost and she had to guide us back to her by the sound of her voice. And Oscar got a ginormous scrape and Liam got nettle stings ( see evidence on FB photos) so we felt like real explorers. Anyway we found her and then the coastal path and she was right – it really is lovely. We climbed down onto the rocks and threw stones in the water. Then we came back and had dinner and after dinner we went back down to the rocky beach with Liam’s friends from Swords. Then we came back and Oscar did the dishes (YES _ ACTUALLY WASHED AND DRIED DISHES AND POTS) (Mam – don’t mind them it’s lies all lies – wuv you Oscie xxx ( I don’t know how to wash dishes and I can’t learn, I have dishes dyslexia or maybe I have an allergy to washing up liquid or maybe I hurt my dishes washing hand forever or maybe watching Liam wash them traumatised me beyond belief) still wuv you Oscie xxx), Then we made plans for an official Oscie Socks Burning Ceremony – more of which on Friday. Then we had our giddy hour and a half (it’s an official hour and a half where utter idiocy is totally acceptable). Then we couldn’t believe another day was over. It’s going scarily fast now. Caernarvon Castle tomorrow so we better go to bed. Night.
When we woke up on Wednesday it was MAD HOT – like Spain or Italy hot- and Shewhomustbeobeyed said we still had to go to see this castle in Caernarvon. Like, it’s been there since 12ninety-something , it could have waited another day or two. Liam was particularly grumpy – he’s nearer to teenage grumpy than Oscie is – according to shewhomustetcetera. But when we were pulling into the carpark we started to laugh – we could see why she wanted us to go to see the bloody castle. Oscar spotted it first and called it for what it was – but Evelyn said no no no – it was a portaloo obviously for building work – but she was laughing. Then Liam nearly had apoplexy (whatever that is) ‘It is! OhMiGod it is! The Tardis. Oh…. that’s the episode where they filmed load of it in different castles and where…then he went off on this big long description of the whole plotline which you can pick up on any website about the Doctor. See, Liam claims Dr Who is not a drama series – it’s documentary according to him – more - it’s a way of life.
So we went up and had our pictures taken with the Tardis in Caernarvon Castle. We had a quick look around the rest of it but sorry – the Tardis was the highlight , who needs history when you have possibility? Evelyn muttered about paying twenty quid to see an abandoned police phone box…but she was laughing. So then we had ice creams and bought new Oscie socks ( and I got a cool t-shirt Mam - Oxy. Xx) and we were MELTING. So Evelyn saw this fountain and had the DEADLY idea that we should run in and out and try not to get wet. Liam got SOAKED. Oscar didn’t even wet his little finger.
Evelyn is a bit annoyed about this …but….well….we think the highlight of the whole holiday so far was the drive back to Pwhelli from Caernarvon. See - Liam had to take his shorts off because they were soaking and Evelyn stuck them out the back window where they flapped like some demented flag the whole way back. There was great music on the radio and we got in a good mood then some insane burrowing immortal beetle got into the car and Oscar could NOT kill it no matter how hard he tried. And he REALLY tried. But it kept disappearing. And we had been talking about xxxx and xxxxxxx and (bodily functions) so naturally we wondered was the beetle got worming its way up his xxxx where it would lay its eggs and produce dung beetles. Of course then we had to mention xxxx milk and pexxxds and nose jobs and infidelity because of undried dishes and then Evelyn SHRIEKED ‘shutupshutupshutupshutup’. Well. We stopped – for thirty two seconds then exploded …and got worse. And she did a constant low mumbling about sublime to ridiculous and how there was only so much pre pubescent children a person could take. Poor her.
She only let us stay in the mobile for ten seconds when we got back before chasing us down the road to the pool to get rid of our elevensness. Sheesh. Aul’ bxxxx –( wuv you Evikins XOXOXOL). So we stayed there for ages and came back, showered, annoyed her some more then went off to Adventure Golf (Oscar beat me Dad – boohoo - so I got no chicken Curry – Liam OOO) Oscar got three birdies and an EAGLE and Liam got two birdies and two pars. We did our ONLY Burger King dinner of the holidays, then a DVD ‘cause we were wrecked and we thought it might compensate a little for our X-Box withdrawal (which is remarkably tame) then the playground. And now we are WrEcKed – but best things were the Tardis, the burrowing beetle and the giddy giddy giddiness.
And tomorrow Evelyn is taking us shooting……………