Diary of Liam and Oscar etcetera etcetera blog #3

It’s too bloody hot. And Liam got burned day before yesterday. Despite factor 60 his shoulders still went mad red and VERY SORE. So he wouldn’t go to the pool. So we had to sit in and watch Jeremy Kyle. Which is hilairious.

Evelyn says it’s depressing. Not the hot thing – the Jeremy Kyle thing ‘Spose if you are her age and are looking at all these sad mostly losers it might be. But we think it’s hilarious. Mainly because most of these people have these mad problems about sex. Or rather their supposed-to-be partners having sex with others-who-are-not-them. Sex is hilarious. Even more hilarious than farts and silly names for parts of your body that nobody likes talking about. Although the proper names are even more hilarious than the silly ones.  Shewhomustbeobeyed says we are not to list the names here – either proper or silly; but you all know them. Shewhoetc. is weird – we’re saying all these names and she is googling them looking for the etymology of the word so she can understand it and worse – make us understand it. Etymology – what’s the etymology of that? This is our life at the moment. Jeremy Kyle and mad words. Edumacation.

Another good programme is Cupcake Wars. Yep. These mad Yanks have contests to be the official cupcake maker for some event or other. These eejits are passionate about cupcakes. Cup-bloody-cakes says Evelyn and people starving on the planet. Yep. One of those moods – all because we didn’t move our breakfast bowls. Anyway she’ll have a kip in the sun while we watch something else (there really is only the pool and the tv – no other kids, no SHOP!!). Glee. Desperate Housewives. Liam likes the History Channel – well some programmes, mostly war stuff.

She’s making us WALK to the beach later. Oscar brought it up on his phone and it is 2.7km away – like, that’s down and back from Swords village from the house in Rathbeale ALL IN THE ONE GO. Then we’ll have to walk back again. We wish she’d hire a car but she says she’d be too nervous on the roads. EVELYN!! NERVOUS!! We think last year’s holiday in Wales was better because there was more stuff to do and it wasn’t so hot. Still, it’s better than school!!

See yiz soon

PS MAMMYAIS I LOVE YOU!!! OSCIE XXX